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REFLECTIVE STANCE writer, thinker, drawer, painter, designer, mommy, teacher, leader, learner of all things

First it was one little bed.

Then it was a little bed and a crib.

Then it was two little beds.

And then it was one big bed.

And now it is only boxes.

Sometimes I wondered if they still loved each other

Because I had a skewed sense of what love is

What love means

Because we have been told of fireworks

And passion

And adventure

But love is far deeper than these things

Love is knowing that even when the brain tires

And the grey matter transforms into

white noise


He reaches across

Touches her leg

She gently holds his hand

and in that moment he transforms from child

back to husband


soul mate

of 59 years and 2 months

5 children

8 grandchildren

countless memories

He looks straight at me

blue eyes beaming

with conviction

and says

“I love her.”

I look back at him and say…

“I know you do Daddy.”

Photo by Mariah Krafft on Unsplash

There is something that happens at the end of August

The fruit once vibrant in colour, scent, taste

Rescinds into itself and contracts with lack of nourishment — less sun, less warmth

The leaves begin to turn

Many leave the city trying to hold onto the last moments of summer but we know it is a fruitless pursuit

The fall is knocking and the silent carpet of winter is on the way

This is the time of year that my birthday lies

The waning days of summer reduce themselves to a pin prick and I hope that that little spot of light will once again explode into possibility

Waiting for blossom season again

i sit outside

in my backyard

which soon won’t be my backyard

Photo by Matthew Bennett on Unsplash

Years ago I lost a student. She had been ill but I never thought it would happen…it broke me. The day before she passed, there was a run at our school and she had had a seizure a few days before and couldn’t run. Each time she had a seizure she would lose more function — this time it was not only strength but voice. She stopped speaking. We sat on the bench and watched the students run around the pond. We didn’t speak but gazed at each other. She had the softest most beautiful smile. I think of that…

What does it really mean?

As each injustice takes hold we see organizations apologizing and often professing regret for those that came before — those who caused the harm. Perhaps there has been some level of accountability but accountability can be defined so broadly. What I have learned is that it should be defined and named by those who have been harmed. …

Sunrise to Sunset to Sunrise and Back Again

It was a week ago, or maybe three months ago…

Relaying any story seems to start like that…it happened a couple weeks ago, or maybe a few months ago…I am still not sure. Time has lost its meaning. We are almost at a year since the Pandemic started in this part of the world and many of us have been reflecting on this year, what might have been, and how to move forward. In the new year, I came across the article from Austin Kleon, Circular time vs. linear time and it began a journey for me to try to understand how time has changed during the pandemic?

Kleon writes…

Special thanks to @sanitarypanels for the image.

In a world where there is no such thing as neutral

I am jarred awake between 2:00 and 3:00 am each morning. There is a feeling that lingers and it dissipates as I try to understand it — like a dream. I am trying to hold on to but rather than wanting to hold on; I am desperate to understand it. It could be any number of things — the angst that surrounds us now, the unknown, the fear, the illness, the loss — it is pervasive. But this morning, it holds on a little longer than usual and finally, there is clarity. It is my father. I am losing him.

Bring Back You

Today mommy asked me to listen to this song. As you slept in the background, mommy and I listened to the song and cried together because although we have our memories, you are losing yours and no matter how hard we try to bring you back, we see you fading before us.

Each time mommy would rouse you and you would say hello to me. She must have tried to wake you up four or five times in the space of one short call. As soon as mom and I engaged in conversation, you would fall asleep. It reminded…

Dr Debbie Donsky

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