James, I totally understand and as you read, I too had great difficulty being alone at your age. Now, at the age of 46, it is so different. I love being around my family and friends and enjoy my work as well but the times when I am alone, writing or drawing or painting or whatever it is I do (sometimes it is just swimming…complete isolation…no distractions…) when I feel I am able to see and feel differently into my own mind. This is something I never used to know how to handle and felt overwhelming.
I wonder if you focus on what you call, “burst from the seems with creativity” rather than the overwhelming thoughts related to depression if you might be able to embrace your mind rather than hide from it. Use your art to express your thoughts.
Thank you for taking the time to write to me.